Make sense of what happens
Notice the situations, feelings, and habits connected to the behavior, without treating shame as the answer.
Individual addiction recovery · California
Sex and porn concerns.
A place to start.
You may have tried to change things on your own and found yourself back in the same place. We can talk about what’s happening and work on a way forward.
Let’s talk A free, 15-minute conversation.
Working together
Understand the pattern. Make room for change.
I’m Benjamin Raskin, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in California (LMFT #165600) and a CSAT Candidate (CSAT-C), nearing completion of specialty certification. Learn about my CSAT-C training.
You don’t need to arrive with the right label or a clear plan. We’ll start with what has been happening, what you’ve tried, and what you want to be different.
People use words like “sex addiction” and “porn addiction” for different experiences. We’ll look at your sense of control and the impact on your life. A high sex drive, consensual interests, or porn use alone does not establish a disorder.
What the work can include
Practical steps, at your pace.
Build different responses
Practice ways to handle urges, stress, and setbacks, with goals that fit your needs and values.
Take responsibility
Talk honestly about the impact of your choices and the steps you can take when others have been hurt.
Find support that fits
Recovery groups, focused intensive work, or couples therapy may be options to discuss.
Your recovery, with a clearer direction
Journey through the first seven tasks.
Recovery can feel less overwhelming when you have something concrete to work on. The first seven tasks of sexual addiction recovery, drawn from Patrick Carnes’s recovery framework, give us a way to explore patterns, take responsibility, build stability, and find support.
These tasks guide a conversation; they are not seven deadlines or requirements that fit everyone. We’ll agree on goals and exercises that fit your needs and values, and return to earlier work when helpful.
The first seven tasks
Understand. Take responsibility. Build support.
Task 1Break through denial
Look honestly at the behavior and its impact. In therapy, we can explore sexual behavior patterns, examples of feeling out of control, and the thinking errors that keep the cycle going.
Task 2Understand the nature of the problem
Develop your knowledge of addiction and recovery. Reading, a sexual history, and a consequences inventory can help you understand your experience. First Step work may be part of the plan if a Twelve Step approach fits you.
Task 3Surrender to the process
Recognize your personal limits and consider what accepting help means for you. For people using a Twelve Step approach, this may include Second and Third Step work.
Task 4Admit the damage from behavior
Take responsibility for consequences while strengthening self-care and crisis-management skills. A damage-control plan can help identify immediate priorities and the actions you need to take.
Task 5Establish sobriety
Define the behaviors you want to change and what recovery means for you. We can develop a written sobriety statement, consider boundaries around sexual behavior, and build a relapse-prevention plan. Goals are agreed together rather than imposed as a blanket period of abstinence.
Task 6Ensure physical health and integrity
Make physical self-care part of recovery. Discuss appropriate medical care with a qualified health professional, including a physical examination when indicated.
Task 7Participate in a culture of support
Build a support system you can turn to consistently. This may include recovery groups, trusted people, and Twelve Step or other peer-support meetings that fit your needs.
How the pieces connect
Stability first. A plan you can keep building.
In the intensive, the focus moves through stabilization, orientation, and clarity. The seven tasks provide a framework to revisit during that work and in ongoing therapy or groups. We can work on immediate concerns while continuing to build insight and support.
Explore the Facing the Shadow intensive or current men’s recovery groups.
Fees & getting started
Know what to expect.
A first conversation
The introductory consultation is free and lasts 15 minutes. It’s a chance to ask questions and talk about fit, availability, and next steps.
Simple, upfront fees
Individual and couples therapy are $200 for a 45-minute session. This is a private-pay practice. See fees and contact information.
A few common questions
You might be wondering…
Do I have to call myself an addict?
No. We can begin with your concerns and what you want to change, then discuss what language and approach are useful for you.
Do you work individually with betrayed partners?
No. My individual work is with the person seeking addiction recovery. I also offer couples therapy. A betrayed partner who needs individual care should seek a therapist who offers that service.
Where can I attend online sessions?
Sessions are for eligible clients physically located in California. We’ll confirm your location and whether online therapy is appropriate before starting.
Start with a conversation.
Ask your questions, talk about what brings you here, and see whether working together feels right.