Different experiences.
Shared questions.

The question is less about a particular number or frequency and more about what is happening in your life. You might notice that you keep returning to behavior you intended to change, spend more time on it than you want to, or hide it from people close to you. It may be affecting your relationship, work, finances, or sense of wellbeing.

Those experiences deserve a careful conversation, rather than a quick label. We can explore what the behavior means to you, what happens around it, and what you want to be different. Having a strong sex drive or using pornography does not, by itself, establish a disorder.

Explore individual recovery therapy ↗

No. People bring different experiences and different language to this work. Some find the word addiction helpful; others feel uncertain about it or prefer to talk about behavior that feels compulsive or out of step with their values.

We can begin with what you have noticed and how it is affecting you. Understanding your experience matters more than deciding on a label before we have met.

Stopping behavior that is causing harm can be an important starting point. The work also asks what has been keeping that behavior in place: secrecy, ways of responding to difficult feelings, relationship patterns, or a lack of support.

In therapy, we can connect that understanding to everyday choices, boundaries, and ways to ask for help. Taking responsibility and treating yourself with compassion can be part of the same process; compassion does not erase the impact on other people.

See how structured recovery work fits into my groups ↗

A useful plan needs room for both structure and the realities of your life. The work may include understanding patterns, developing ways to respond to difficult feelings, building support, and taking responsibility for the effects of your behavior.

We can use a structured recovery framework without treating it as a race or a test you either pass or fail. If you return to behavior you wanted to change, we can examine what happened and what needs attention in your plan. The pace and focus depend on your circumstances.

Explore the recovery work in my groups ↗

Discovering something that changes your understanding of a relationship can leave you questioning what is true and what to expect next. Some people describe anger, grief, difficulty concentrating, or feeling on guard. Reactions vary; a webpage cannot tell you what is happening for you or establish a diagnosis.

Your experience deserves attention in its own right. A therapist who works individually with betrayed partners can help you explore your concerns and support needs. You do not have to organize your own recovery around protecting the other person from the impact of their choices.

You are not responsible for another person’s choices to deceive you or cross an agreed boundary. Problems in a relationship can be explored without shifting responsibility for those choices onto you.

If you enter couples work, each person’s experience can have room in the conversation while responsibility for harmful behavior remains with the person who engaged in it.

There is no requirement to arrive at forgiveness or reconciliation before seeking support. You may need time, information, and space to understand what you want and which boundaries matter to you.

Support can help you think through your choices without treating staying together as the only acceptable outcome. The pace of the other person’s recovery does not determine when you should feel ready to trust.

My individual recovery work is with the person seeking help for sex or porn addiction concerns. I also work with couples affected by addiction or betrayal. I do not currently offer standalone individual therapy for betrayed partners.

If you are looking for support just for yourself as a betrayed partner, you can ask about referral options. If you contact me about couples work, we can discuss whether my approach fits what you both need.

This section provides general information for partners; it does not describe a standalone individual service I currently offer.

Yes, uncertainty can be part of the conversation. Starting couples therapy does not require an agreement to reconcile. We can explore how addiction or betrayal has affected each of you, what boundaries matter, and whether there is willingness to work toward a shared direction.

I will also consider whether couples work is appropriate for your circumstances. The aim is an honest, thoughtful process, rather than pressure toward a predetermined decision.

About couples therapy ↗

Promises can matter, but trust also depends on what happens after the conversation: whether agreements are kept, questions can be discussed honestly, and the impact of the betrayal is acknowledged. An apology does not create an obligation for the hurt partner to feel safe immediately.

In couples work, we can look at the particular rupture in your relationship and discuss what accountability, boundaries, and repair would mean for each of you. There is no checklist that guarantees reconciliation.

It can be hard to know which questions to ask, how much to say, or how to keep the conversation from becoming overwhelming. A planned conversation with appropriate professional support can provide room to discuss purpose, timing, and boundaries.

If you are considering a more structured disclosure process, ask about the support and preparation it requires. This page is not a disclosure protocol. Avoid assuming that a single conversation will resolve every question or determine the future of the relationship.

They have related but different purposes. Individual recovery focuses on the person’s behavior, patterns, and responsibilities. Couples therapy also attends to the relationship: the effects of the behavior, communication, boundaries, and decisions about a shared future.

Couples sessions do not make the betrayed partner responsible for managing the other person’s recovery. We can discuss whether individual support, couples work, or a combination is appropriate before making a plan.

Explore couples therapy ↗

The free 15-minute call is a conversation about fit. I will ask what brings you here, explain how I work, and leave room for your questions. We can discuss which service may suit your needs, current availability, and practical details.

You can give a brief overview; the call does not require a detailed account of your sexual history. It is not a therapy session. If we decide to work together, we will review intake, consent, privacy, and next steps before treatment begins.

Read more about the consultation ↗

CSAT-C means Certified Sex Addiction Therapist Candidate. It describes my candidate status in the training and certification process through the International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals (IITAP). I have specialized training in sex addiction recovery and am nearing completion of certification.

I am currently a CSAT Candidate, rather than a fully certified CSAT. My license to practice psychotherapy is separate: I am a California Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, LMFT #165600.

About my CSAT-C training ↗ · IITAP certification information

Individual therapy offers space to look closely at your own patterns, relationships, and goals. A recovery group brings a structured setting for connection, feedback, and shared work. An intensive offers a more concentrated schedule around a defined focus.

More concentrated does not automatically mean more appropriate. We will consider your circumstances, readiness, and support needs together. These options can sometimes complement one another; we will discuss fit before making a plan.

Individual therapy · Recovery groups · Recovery intensive

My online California men’s groups meet on Tuesday or Thursday, from 5:00–6:30 p.m. Pacific. Each session is $75, with up to eight members and a minimum 12-week commitment. The groups use the Facing the Shadow workbook alongside conversation and recovery work.

We will talk before you join to consider whether the group is a good fit and whether a place is available. Privacy expectations are part of the group agreement, but I cannot guarantee that other members will keep information confidential.

What to expect in a recovery group ↗

The Facing the Shadow recovery intensive takes place across three weeks and costs $3,000. It includes a weekly 90-minute individual session and a weekly 45-minute couples session when clinically appropriate. We will discuss preparation and whether that structure meets your needs before scheduling.

The couples intensive is a separate offering held across three days, at $2,000. An intensive provides focused time for the work; it does not guarantee a particular outcome or replace every other form of ongoing support.

Three-week recovery intensive · Couples intensive

Privacy is an important part of the work. Before treatment begins, we will review confidentiality, its legal limits, and how information is handled. Couples and group work also involve specific privacy expectations that deserve discussion at the outset.

The website contact form is for a brief inquiry, rather than a detailed clinical history. Please save sensitive details for our conversation. You can bring questions about records, communication, or confidentiality to the consultation.

Practice and privacy information · General information about therapy confidentiality from the APA

Individual and couples therapy are $200 for a 45-minute session. The introductory 15-minute consultation is free. My practice is private pay; we will review fees and payment arrangements before you begin. Group and intensive fees are described above. The cancellation policy requires 48 hours’ notice.

Sessions are online for eligible clients physically located in California. We will confirm your location and whether telehealth is appropriate before treatment. For teen support or additional recovery support, please ask about the service and its fees.

Fees and consultation details ↗